bad bad bad

So I have had a terrible month off of my program, and i feel like crap, i look like crap and i need to breath and get back on top of things. I need to focus on my health and eat normal, healthy foods!

I have no idea what i ate today, but i know it was far to much. Tomorrow i will go back onto my food plan and maybe get back to the 169 lbs where i was (totally doable too!) i would like to be there for my graduation:

So today was  175 (to up 6 lbs  from April) and i have three and 1/2 weeks till graduation. I figure some of the weight is from excess food in my system, and that should leave me with just under 2 lbs per week. 

My weight has been fluctuating from 173 to 175 so it would even be 1lbs a week. We will see. Regardless of the weight i need to eat healthy so i can have a good last few weeks here:

Tomorrow:

Breakfast

Oatmeal (1/2 cup)     150cal

NF Plain Greek Yogurt 100cal

Banana                100cal

total:                350 calories

Lunch:

Steamed Carrots and Broccoli

with: (ill have to purchase something since i am out of proteins at home)

The rest will be decided tomorrow

Good Day

YAY! food was good today, I stayed in my calories, and I didn't eat a bunch of granola bars! Haha. Anyhow, I am making a change to my diet so that my three meals throughout the day are more consistent with my days calories, so that I do not end up eating to much in each meal. 

My weight had no change today, but I have gone to the gym for the last three days and gotten good workouts, so hopefully I will see something before the end of the month so I can see if I am on track with my goal. 

I had almonds with my lunch today, and steamed kale as one of my veggies, both great additions to my diet. No other big changes. I need t put more veggies back into my lunch, tomorrow ill start that back with carrots and cauliflower. yay!

Ok, that's it for today.

No change, But great Comments

There were no changes in weight today, however I did get some comments on looking 'fabulous' from some women at work. So it was both a good, and a not so great day. I have been watching my food intake and getting to the gym, so I haven't felt great at seeing the scale at a stand still. I get the muscle gain thing, but its still frustrating! 

I feel good, my mind, body. And My jeans are almost to big for me!!!! these are pants that I once had to wear unzipped and tuck in the button flaps just to wear a pair of jeans. I wore all my jeans like that because I refused to buy any sizes larger. For a while after I just wore leggings because that was all i knew would fit. Going through a morning of 'which pants can I squeeze into' got old.


Breakfast:
Greek Yogurt (i ate around the fruit as I found I don't like the blueberry)
1 cup strawberries
3/4 cup Kashi Cerea
1/3 cup almond milk
1 granola bar

Lunch
Cliff Bar and a Kashi Bar (! i know, not good)
1 apple
1 cup baby carrots


Dinner
3 oz firm tofu
1 egg
4 cups various vegtable (mostly green and some purple)
1 small whole wheat and flax pita
1 granola bar (ahhhh! i only ate one, so this is better than the past two nights)


So any ideas on how to subdue my cravings other than not eat them!?

Problems with energy Bars

I have found that I am starting to treat granola and energy bars to be like candy, since it the closest thing to candy i am eating I may have to cut them out of my diet, which shouldn't be a problem. maybe if i want granola i will start buying it in bulk and weight it in portions, so it is less candy like. Today I went above my calories again due to overeating granola bars (cliff granola bars to be specific). 


Breakfast was normal, plus a Kashi bar,


Lunch, my veggies went bad so i added a granola bar, dinner was normal, but i ate three granola bars!


Yea. It is a problem : ( no more granola bars. 


Well, that is solved.
I need to to go grocery shopping for salad greens and new veggies as well as fresh fruit tomorrow. Gonna get more strawberries, blueberries, apples and bananas for the week. 


Not sure about veggies


Did an hour on the elliptical today and 30 minutes of weight training, and jogged lightly to and from the gym. Although my calories were over, they were not above the calories i burned so although I probably wont loose anything, but at least i will not gain anything either!

Triumph!

So I am happy to day that I got under 170 this weekend! My current weight is 169.6 lbs, so i have had a weight loss of 35.4 lbs since i began this journey. I am still in a little disbelief that this has actually been happening. I tried so many times, so many diets with little to no success. I guess it should not be odd to think that just eating healthy foods in portioned amounts would allow for such a change, but in my mind, as someone who have used compulsive eating all my life to fill in the emptiness i have tried my best to avoid that reality. 

I was afraid if i allowed myself to become vulnerable with out the crutch of food I would tumble down and endless pit! But it have actually allowed me to reevaluate my life, my priories and my being.

Pros:

I am loosing weight

I am feeling healthy

  I can breath! (i think i may have some intolerance to milk, because i stopped having trouble breathing when i switched to soy milk)

I can go jogging without my feet killing me, and having breathing problems

I can fit into every single article of clothing i have in my room(some even too big now!)

I am less self conscious in public, and can therefor pay attention to other things when out and about

I am loving whole grains!

I am discovering and trying new vegetables i have never even heard of

I am learning about how foods affect the body, and why i should eat some things and not other things

I am not going through pants as fast (the inner thighs would rub together and tear through the material)

I have more energy, focus and i smile more!!!

I am more kind to others, and less judgmental (i think my judgments were reflections of myself)

These are just a few of the things that are great about how i feel where i am right now.

The only con?:

No more candy, fancy deserts and  non-nutritious treats/foods

(but why is this even a con! If i love the taste of healthy foods i am discovering, am i really loosing anything here?)

New foods for health

Today I tried some new things to add some change to my foods. The best? Tofu Noodles! They have a little fishy smell at first but if you rinse them before you cook them then it goes away. I added a garlic, soy sauce and a tsp peanut butter to cook them a little before adding them on my pita with a egg and sesame-ginger dressed salad greens and red onion.

Along with the pita wrap I had the rest of my salad on the side as well as my steamed veggie mix (1/2 cup each of red, napa and savoy cabbage with green beans, zucchini and mushroom)

the dinner was amazingly filling! and all only 315 calories!!! I'm sorry I don't have pictures to show you as my room lamp broke and it is too dark to get a decent picture, but ill be having the same dinner tomorrow night since the tofu noodle pack comes with two servings (4oz each), so i wave one for tomorrow night. 

In addition to the noodles i bought some 100% whole wheat flax/fiber sandwich thins(to replace my current whole wheat english muffins) and flax/oat bran whole wheat pita  breads to replace my whole wheat pita. Both the new additions are 100% whole wheat and lower calorie than my previous partially whole wheat choices. Ill see how they are over the weekend after i run out of my current stuff.

Anyhow, I didn't weight myself this morning, but i'll update tomorrow. Still hoping to get under 170 this weekend.

AHHH

I keep doing stupid things and making compulsive choices with my food. Today i ate my regular foods but added two Kashi cereal bars at lunch and two at night! it was in the moment, being stressed about preforming with my aCapella group tonight and also with all the work ahead of me for midterms. Bad choices. Did  not go over my calories burned today, but was way over my needed intake for weight loss. Grrr. I need to be more attentive to why i am making these choices so that i can work on what it going wrong in my head.

I liked my lunch a lot. I was out of eggs and peanut butter, so i added 1 oz of cheese on my whole wheat toasted English muffin for lunch and was surprisingly satisfied with it! I think if i add some grilled squash slices to the sandwich it could be perfect. Anyhow, i will probably do that again tomorrow since i need to go through my current english muffins so i can get more nutritious ones at a better store. Something with more whole grains, flax or something other than just whole wheat. I saw some sandwich thins at whole foods for 100 calories that look good. I may also go for some natural peanut butter and add some apple slices and cinnamon.

Also, thinking of making baked apple chips with cinnamon this weekend for my breakfast fruit along with my yogurt and cereal. Its not adding any extra sugar, just a new way of eating my morning fruit! Excited. 

Working on the food.