Bad night

So, tonight i had a fall in judgment and control in my eating. I was invited out with a friend who is in the same program as I. I assumed it would be fine not to eat there and just have my measured dinner before i went so i wouldn't be temped. Well, I was.  The food was amazing, delicious and plentiful. Unfortunately, it was also mostly starches, high fat, low nutrition food which i ate far, far too much of. I did not have the willpower to stop myself and say no, and i didn't feel comfortable calling someone as i was sitting right next to the very person i would call!(who by the way, was binging more than I) in fact, not one person at the table was not stuffing their faces, i must have been at the one table where everyone's stomachs have reached full capacity. 

I am frustrated, because I control my actions, and I failed miserably. At this point, even the gym, which i will be going to after this post, wont help me this time. There is no way I can burn the amount of calories I have just indulged in. I feel sick, by stomach is huge.

I wish I could at least count the calories to see where I am really at, but i don't actually know what the food was! it was some foreign food style i don't know with strange vegetables i have never even seen(i am pretty goof with veggies) and oil? fat? butter? no clue. The killer was the bread. I have not had white bread for two months.....I ate 3 rolls.

Anyhow, I have stopped eating now, I wont be eating anymore tonight and tomorrow will be a new day. There is nothing more I can do about this tonight(other than the gym).

I can honestly say know I understand what being full feels like. I used to think this was a normally feeling, and than everything else was emptiness. I hate this feeling. I don't ever want to feel this way again. Thank you to listening to me ranting if you are reading this.